Bottoms Up - Not Today, Satan™
2 Fl Oz (60ml)
$8.99
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Bottoms Up - Not Today, Satan™
Some days are smooth. Other days require intervention.
Not Today, Satan™ is the fresh, fearless member of the Bottoms Up™ lineup, blending bright lime, cooling eucalyptus, and invigorating peppermint into a fragrance that feels like opening the door to an upscale spa after a long day. Crisp, clean, and unapologetically refreshing, it's designed for those moments when preparation feels less like a suggestion and more like a survival strategy.
Small enough to travel anywhere. Powerful enough to restore confidence. Keep it nearby for unexpected situations, questionable decisions, and meals that seemed like a good idea at the time. Because sometimes the only appropriate response is: Not Today, Satan™.
Spray First. Deny Everything.
$8.99
Candle Care
- TRIM THE WICK TO 1/8" TO 1/4"
BEFORE EVERY SESSION — EVERYBODY PERFORMS BETTER WITH A LITTLE GROOMING. - GIVE IT A SOLID 2–4 HOUR BURN
GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME TO WARM UP. - DON’T GHOST YOUR CANDLE.
STAY IN THE ROOM WHILE IT’S BURNING. - DON’T LIGHT THIS NEXT TO ANYTHING THAT’S FLAMMABLE
THE ONLY THING THAT SHOULD BE BURNING IS THE CANDLE. - THIS CANDLE IS GROWN-FOLK BUSINESS.
KEEP PETS AND KIDS AT A SAFE DISTANCE. - RESPECT THE BOTTOM — ONCE YOU REACH 1/2", STOP BURNING. WE’RE LUXURIOUS, NOT RECKLESS.
Return policy
We have a 15-day return policy, which means you have 15 days after receiving your item to request a return.
Our goal is for every customer to be totally satisfied with their purchase. If this isn't the case, let us know and we'll do our best to work with you to make it right.
Shipping
All orders are processed within 4 to 5 business days (excluding weekends and holidays) after receiving your order confirmation email.
When your order has shipped, you will receive an email notification from us which will include a tracking number you can use to check its status. Please allow 48 hours for the tracking information to become available.